Moody

Sad entry.



I had lost the smile that i cherish most, and probably you will never appear in front of me now on. Out of sudden, you just away from my life. My happiness gone, along with your disappearance...


Although i missed you very badly, i need to control myself not to contact you. I guess, this is the only way that works best for both of us, you have your life and i shall start my own. Sincerely hope time pass can ease away my feeling towards you, although it still strong now...


I feel very stress at home, parents are driving me insane, time to time just bombard with annoying words of advice of their own, which they don't realise it is out-to-date in this time.


I discovered that real me, should be the one who i outside of home, alone or with friends, at least that makes me feels better. I need to be tame and obedience face at home, and as everything-OK boy. Too much responsible, yet i don't have own freedom. Feels like caged-bird.


And my health seems deteriorate, feels always no strength and fatigue. Perhaps that mind poison destroyed me too much, yet i still addicted to it.


All these while, wondering at home, finding new job, stress from all corner, just keep on repeating. Until now, i found a job for work and another type series of stress from parents coming on. Sometimes, i feel like going out alone, to pursuit own happiness and freedom, but too bad, too many reason for me to bind at home, which my dreams and desire need to be suppress, for unknown duration...


Perhaps, i'm in pre-working anxiety...